By Ellie Fortin Having a teenage daughter with anxiety could be hard, but according to Doctor Lisa Damour, anxiety is a normal and healthy function. Most anxiety that teenagers express is that they are aware of their surroundings and mindful of their responsibilities. Adults could help with the anxiousness of a teenage girl by just simply acting as a friend to them. Damour uses the word “storm” to describe the meltdown. She says that parents or any other adult should not disturb the “storm” when it’s in progress.
When she is being emotional, adults should wait until she is able to catch a breath and then try to talk. But, instead of trying to fix the problem, sit with her, go on a walk, watch something funny, or offer her a cup of tea. Be patient with the girl and let her get her feelings out before you try to offer to help her. If you talk to her too soon, it could possibly make the situation worse. Make sure is ready to talk and listen to you before you do anything. Dr. Damour mentions that teenagers can be specifically sensitive to cues they receive from their parents or teachers, from words to facial expressions. The way that adults react to teens’ emotional reaction matters a lot. For example, if the adult has an anxious reaction it will most likely make the situation worse for the teen. It is excruciating for parents to see that their child is in a bad “storm”. A solution to remove the stressor would be to stay home from school, although missing a test or a project could feed the anxiety. Teenage girls often feel stressed because they overestimate the difficulty of a situation and/or underestimate their ability to deal with it. When girls avoid the situation, they miss the time to correct that perception and recognize their own strength. Even if she thinks that staying home is best for her emotional health, it may not be. So remember next time when your teenage girl is having a bad “storm” to let her get the emotions out and let her catch a breath before offering to talk to her. If she’s anxious about something, remember to stay calm about it and to not increase her anxiousness by your words or facial expressions. It may seem like staying home from school could be good for her mental/emotional health, but missing just that one day can do a lot. Kris, D. F. (2019, February 12). How to Help Teenage Girls Reframe Anxiety and Strengthen Resilience. Retrieved from https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/52994/how-to-help-teenage-girls-reframe-anxiety-and-strengthen-resilience. https://learningcooperatives.org/2018/06/15/why-are-our-kids-so-worried/
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