By Lee Federle Everyone knows that it’s nice to get compliments. What’s less known is that research has proven that positive feedback decreases stress, encourages better habits, and can help you accomplish more. In fact, compliments are so beneficial that a lot of companies use praise to boost revenue. This helps keep their employees motivated and happy and encourages them to continue putting in their best effort. Receiving compliments can even help your brain remember and repeat new skills.
Even though compliments are good for us, a lot of us struggle to accept them. We don’t want to come off as arrogant, so most people tend to brush them off. This may not seem like a big deal, but when you try to debunk the compliments you receive by disagreeing with them or undermining them, you are reinforcing the part of your brain that focuses on your mistakes (fun fact: our brains naturally focus on our failures because in the past the humans who worried more were more likely to survive). Instead, you should accept the compliment and try your best to believe it— this can be as easy as saying ‘thank you’ or asking a follow-up question— as this will result in all the positive benefits for your brain that I wrote about above. So now we know that receiving compliments from others is valuable, but what about giving yourself compliments? It may sound weird, but acknowledging your own achievements can actually be even better for your brain than receiving praise from someone else. Studies have shown that small setbacks have negative impacts three to four times higher than the positive impacts of small accomplishments. This means that it is crucial to highlight our accomplishments as much as possible, as our brains clearly need all the encouragement they can get. It’s also important to understand that ‘accomplishments’ don’t need to be big. Whether it’s about school, work, or personal life, congratulating yourself on getting small things done is a great way to keep yourself motivated and continuing to achieve. Another way to reinforce the positive side of your brain is to keep a daily list of your accomplishments. Again, you’re probably not accomplishing huge feats every day— your daily list will most likely include things like finally cleaning your room or emailing that teacher that you’ve been meaning to talk to. No matter how small the achievement, giving yourself credit for these things doesn’t just help your mood and productivity, but also can come in handy in situations where we’re asked to list accomplishments, like job interviews or college applications (again, our brains focus on our mistakes and tend to forget our accomplishments, so writing them down is a good idea). Lists are also beneficial because you can look for patterns in them to figure out where to put your time and energy. Finally, it’s a good idea to get comfortable talking about our accomplishments with other people without feeling cocky or boastful. This could mean taking time once and a while to talk to a friend, parent or teacher about something you recently accomplished. Being able to confidently talk about successes is a good skill to have when it comes to things like job interviews, where you are often asked to discuss your achievements. Talking about successes as well as failures can also make you better at receiving constructive criticism. In conclusion, accepting compliments, whether they’re from peers, family, teachers, or even ourselves, is something we could all work on. It improves mood, motivation, and productivity, and helps us know that we’re on the right track with what we’re doing. Now that you know how valuable receiving compliments is, hopefully you’ll consider giving more compliments in the future too— you never know when someone might need that extra boost! Higgs, M. M. (2018, December 04). How to Accept a Compliment - Even if It's From Yourself. Retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/04/smarter-living/how-to-accept-a-compliment.html?rref=collection/timestopic/Psychology and Psychologists&action=click&contentCollection=health®ion=stream&module=stream_unit&version=latest&contentPlacement=1&pgtype=collection (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.teamworkandleadership.com/2017/07/the-power-of-compliments-4-tips-for-leaders-and-teammates-great-video.html
4 Comments
Hannah Swift
12/11/2018 01:40:41 pm
This is a really interesting article, Lee! It was particularly fascinating to hear that the most important part of receiving a compliment is accepting it. If you disagree with it when trying to be modest, the compliment won't be as beneficial. I think it is very difficult to be on a receiving end of a complement, because they don't want to sound cocky, but based on your research, they also don't want to diminish it.
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Emma Moll
12/12/2018 07:42:36 am
This is a super interesting article! I found it very interesting how compliments can help stress. But, this doesn't surprise me because when you are given a compliment, you probably feel more confident. I also found it interesting how important receiving the compliment is. It is important to take the compliment, rather than deny it because you don't want to sound cocky. Even though this may be hard sometimes, after reading your article, it makes lots of sense!
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Bella Solari
12/12/2018 09:41:15 am
Lee, this is awesome! I really like how you were able to summarize such a complex topic in a way that was relatable and useful. Your article has evidence that really supports your main message of the benefits of being able to compliment yourself, and I think that you were right on the dot with your analyzations of the study you read about. I feel as though most of us have a hard time giving ourselves credit when we achieve things, and like you mentioned, our brains tend to focus on our failures rather than our achievements. But after reading this article I definitely will remind myself that it is okay and actually important to accept compliments from others without seeming boastful, and it is also good to compliment/acknowledge our own accomplishments to ourselves sometimes!
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Lizzie Guertler
12/16/2018 06:40:41 am
Lee! I love this article! I was especially interested when you talked about how giving yourself compliments can be better for your brain than receiving a compliment from someone else. I also thought it was cool how a compliment doesn't really affect our brain unless we accept the compliment in the right way. I think when I think to give out compliments to myself and other people I will be considerate to how I give them and especially make myself feel good by giving myself compliments. With that also I think I will be more mindful of how I receive a compliment and the way I react. I think your article has made me more mindful of the people around me and how our brain can be positively affected by compliments.
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Ms. Carrigan's Psych ClassWe have been reading articles about psychological studies to inform the way we live our lives. Please explore, and we hope you learn a bit about the psychology in your life! Categories
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